As summer comes to a close, we all start thinking about that man’s man who’s going to chop wood for the fire and wrap his tree trunk biceps around you under flannel sheets at night.

Just us Canadian homos?

Fine. Whatever. You bitches need boyfriends. And that's exactly what I'm here for.

August is essentially Summer’s last call. It’s that point where you know the lights are going to come on, the music is going to stop, and you’re going to be standing there surrounded by broken glass watching your best friend go home with the guy you liked.

Again…just me?

Bitches…

Now, if I’ve learned anything at all from Cosmo – it’s that the way to a man’s heart is his penis. Or the other way around. Or his stomach is involved somehow. Don’t worry – if you use any combination of heart, penis and stomach, you should make out okay.

So our advice for this month is to find the man of your desires and give him a lapdance while BBQing ribs. Foolproof.

13 Responses to "NOR/WAC Cosmo: Advice for getting your man"

  1. Ms. Salti Says:

    I'm so on it!

  2. Doniree Says:

    While wearing my new fuck-me heels?

  3. Maxie Says:

    It's easier to just buy a blanket.

  4. Kellie Says:

    That is totally fool proof! Great advice!!

  5. Sue Says:

    D'oh...I hate when I post a comment and then see that I spelled something wrong!

    Here it is again...

    I know for a FACT that all men want for their birthdays (hell, in life) are The Three B's:

    Beer
    BBQ
    Blowjob

    Yes, it's that simple girls (and some of you boys, too!)...

  6. amindinmotown Says:

    Hm, barbecuing ribs? And to think I just thought that worked here in the south.

    And Sue could not be more correct. The Three Bs work every time.

  7. Amy xxoo Says:

    Short and sweet, i like it.

    I think i hooked my man by inviting him out for a hearty meal, and then wearing a low cut top for our date. Not quite the same as your suggestion, but close enough to work!

  8. alexa - cleveland's a plum Says:

    i think i could handle that.

  9. Heather Says:

    Ooooh, so that's how it's done... interesting.

  10. Ben Says:

    MsSalti: Keep us posted!

    Doniree: YES!

    Maxie: Lazy.

    Kellie: We all know how YOU ended up hitched.

    Sue: We're all friends here. Don't worry.

    Amindinmotown: Mmmm ribs.

    Amy: Nice!

    Alexa: I know you can.

    Heather: You heard it here first!

  11. Tia Says:

    done and done.

  12. Soda and Candy Says:

    What if he's vegetarian, will it still work with BBQ tofu?

  13. tolu Says:

    the bigger and more deep fried the better

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