As summer comes to a close, we all start thinking about that man’s man who’s going to chop wood for the fire and wrap his tree trunk biceps around you under flannel sheets at night.
Just us Canadian homos?
Fine. Whatever. You bitches need boyfriends. And that's exactly what I'm here for.
August is essentially Summer’s last call. It’s that point where you know the lights are going to come on, the music is going to stop, and you’re going to be standing there surrounded by broken glass watching your best friend go home with the guy you liked.
Again…just me?
Bitches…
Now, if I’ve learned anything at all from Cosmo – it’s that the way to a man’s heart is his penis. Or the other way around. Or his stomach is involved somehow. Don’t worry – if you use any combination of heart, penis and stomach, you should make out okay.
Posts
August 27, 2009 at 1:06 PM �
I'm so on it!
August 27, 2009 at 2:11 PM �
While wearing my new fuck-me heels?
August 27, 2009 at 3:00 PM �
It's easier to just buy a blanket.
August 27, 2009 at 5:53 PM �
That is totally fool proof! Great advice!!
August 27, 2009 at 6:12 PM �
D'oh...I hate when I post a comment and then see that I spelled something wrong!
Here it is again...
I know for a FACT that all men want for their birthdays (hell, in life) are The Three B's:
Beer
BBQ
Blowjob
Yes, it's that simple girls (and some of you boys, too!)...
August 27, 2009 at 6:32 PM �
Hm, barbecuing ribs? And to think I just thought that worked here in the south.
And Sue could not be more correct. The Three Bs work every time.
August 27, 2009 at 6:44 PM �
Short and sweet, i like it.
I think i hooked my man by inviting him out for a hearty meal, and then wearing a low cut top for our date. Not quite the same as your suggestion, but close enough to work!
August 27, 2009 at 9:43 PM �
i think i could handle that.
August 28, 2009 at 12:34 PM �
Ooooh, so that's how it's done... interesting.
August 28, 2009 at 1:00 PM �
MsSalti: Keep us posted!
Doniree: YES!
Maxie: Lazy.
Kellie: We all know how YOU ended up hitched.
Sue: We're all friends here. Don't worry.
Amindinmotown: Mmmm ribs.
Amy: Nice!
Alexa: I know you can.
Heather: You heard it here first!
August 28, 2009 at 5:48 PM �
done and done.
August 29, 2009 at 12:10 PM �
What if he's vegetarian, will it still work with BBQ tofu?
November 1, 2009 at 2:55 PM �
the bigger and more deep fried the better