As I sit in my 4 ½” leopard print strappy sandals sipping my sweet wine and contemplating the effects of shoes on a person’s behavior all I can think is, damn I want to do me, like hard in a way people don’t talk about. AC Slater can’t touch this hotness right now.

Why? The arch of the foot, the curve of the thigh, and the fullness of the buttock are all enhanced by a little bit of slut in your step. Well, maybe more like a lot of whore in your heel. Trust me-- all our male readers are rolling a little farther under their desks right now for a reason.

You want your man to come home, throw you against the wall, and ravage you until you’re panting like a wild spider monkey in July?

Trying to find the proper attire during a whipped cream only dress-up party?

Just feel like going from Tipper Gore to Dita Von Teese for a night?

Well a pair of hot “Screw me over a chair till I can’t feel my eyelids” heels can get you there. Is it a shock that Jessica Simpson isn’t loved for her calculus skills?

Below are some examples from our lusty readers’ favorite shoes and what they think while they are being lifted over their heads. Now excuse me while I let the Cabana boy finish licking this wine off my toes.




* Keep an eye out for next month’s article: The Best Sex Positions with Camel Skin Sling Backs
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Thanks, Finger Talks, for writing. It would been awkward to have me write about shoe sex.- Andy