In case you missed it in all the excitement of the first We Are Cosmo post, we have an awful lot to offer you greedy bitches.
Not only can you expect all the guts and glory of your monthly Cosmo, but you officially have the chance to get all the advice you need to solve every single one of your life's problems. Because as women that's what it's all about - there are 13,953,895 things wrong with you and 5,046,804,964 things you can buy to fix them.
And that's why I'm here. To help. Because you're supposed to be perfect. And you're not. Didn't you know?
Leave your questions, quandrums, scenarios and situations in the comments and I'll tackle them in a one time only We Are Cosmo video segment where the learning will be as deep as any model who has ever appeared in the real Cosmo.
That's GOSSIP GIRL DEEP.
All questions will be answered to the fullest extent of my expertise on Friday.
Too shy? Leave them anonymously or send them by email to ben.boudreau@gmail.com. Every submission will be entered to win a full year's subscription to Cosmo so that you'll never be without reminders that you're not good enough.
Because you're not.
Thanks,
Ben on behalf of everything that Cosmo stands for like women's rights and junk.
Posts
August 24, 2009 at 6:17 PM �
First question submitted by Twitter:
"I have $300 to spend on fall clothes this year. What should I buy?"
August 24, 2009 at 10:17 PM �
If I wanted to commit the perfect murder, how would I do it?
Alternate question:
What is the caloric value of sperm? I'm on a diet, but my husband is pressuring me.
August 25, 2009 at 1:26 AM �
I AM READY.
When i was 15 i read an article in cosmo that said it's totally natural for men to like it up the butt from girls. Is that true?
p.s.
my captcha is "probably". Did you program this thing to answer my question by itself?
August 25, 2009 at 1:30 AM �
ALSO.
From texts from last night.
if you are up someone's butt and you feel poop what is the polite thing to do? Do you take your finger out and wipe it without them seeing or do you put it on their face or do you wipe it on their clothes??
I promise I am asking these because these are ACTUAL PROBLEMS I HAVE SOMETIMES.
do not make fun of me.
August 25, 2009 at 8:49 AM �
Ohhhhh my. This all seemed well and good until I realized that I'm actually going to come up with answers for these preferably without blushing.
Consider me committed.
August 25, 2009 at 11:32 AM �
This is a question for all the ladies who prefer to swallow, rather than spit:
I've always heard that celery makes a man's semen taste better. Is that true? And what other foods does this apply to? What foods should a guy avoid if he prefers a swallower?
August 25, 2009 at 12:52 PM �
Good luck with this, Ben. I'll pitch in, but you get the dirty ones. I've got a reputation to protect, after all...
August 25, 2009 at 4:50 PM �
I effing love that video. I watched it twice.
As for a question...
How many calories are burnt during an average sex session and what's the tastiest sandwich I eat afterward to balance that out?
August 25, 2009 at 5:33 PM �
I know that when a woman says no, she means no. But when a man says no, is he gay or am I just getting fat?
August 26, 2009 at 9:03 AM �
I'm not sure what's worse...some of these questions, or the fact that I actually have really good answers for them.
August 26, 2009 at 11:26 AM �
dear cosmo,
i met a great bitch of a dane and i think she likes me. problem is, i don't know if we will be able to seal the deal, cuz she is totally taller than me and i am not sure doggy style will work. do u have any ideas on how i hit a home run?? also, i was fixed at an early age and i look a little puppy down there if u know what i mean. does size really matter??
August 26, 2009 at 2:29 PM �
A question that won't make you blush.
So I absolutely love my boyfriend of almost two years. He's really wonderful most of the time. The issue is when he screws something up or makes a mistake. He never apologizes and gets really defensive and cranky if I point something out. Example - The other day he gave me incorrect directions. I called him to have him help me out with getting to where I needed to be and he got his feathers ruffled and said "well I was just trying to help you out anyway, you should have looked the directions up yourself." He did however give me the number of the place I was trying to get to so that I could call there for direction. This is unhelpful, and frustrating because the other 95% of the time he's laid back and wonderful. How can I get him to not freak out when he screws something up.
August 26, 2009 at 6:05 PM �
1)i want tips on wot to do when the condom gets ''lost'' inside the vajine and wots the correct etiquette when u pee a little after an orgasm?
2)is there any way i cn force in a pair of jeans that may be slightly too tight cos they match with wot am wearing and i don't wanna wear another pair dammit!
3) i hve been single for a while..words of wisdom please on how i get back in ''the game''
u are welcome to answer any of the above:)
August 28, 2009 at 12:45 PM �
Almost all questions have been answered in the vlog! http://wearecosmo.blogspot.com/2009/08/norwac-cosmo-vlog.html