"If Ben and Andy wrote Cosmo..."

Yeah, sure, we know that's more than you've ever dreamed of, and we have no qualms if you need to take a minute to put on a fresh pair of underwear after that first sentence. We'll wait...

No, not those granny panties-- nuh uh.

OK, that's better. We couldn't talk about Cosmo with your underwear qualifying as capris.

In celebration of one year of Wild ARS Chase, Ben, of No Ordinary Rollercoaster, has graciously agreed at gunpoint to do another co-blog. How could we not, after our last one in November had many critics evoking the names of Shakespeare, Faulkner and R.L. Stine? Last time, we gave advice to men out there, as we felt extremely qualified to do so, what with our having watched Sex and the City before.

This time around, it's the ladies' turn to get advice. And what better way to do that than by having Oprah guest blog.

And since Oprah is unavailable, we'll do it ourselves, replicating a top womens' advice magazine:

Cosmo.

(BEN'S EDIT: Consider this The Ugly Truth of blogging. I'll let you figure out who's Gerard Butler and who's Katherine Heigl...)

(ANDY'S EDIT: Ooh! I want to be Gerard! He was in the Phantom of the Opera! I mean... um.. He was in 300!)

(BEN'S EDIT: Fine. I will be the diva who asks for too much money. Again.)

Following in the footsteps of such legendary stog (short term blog...DUH) collabos as Peter and Brandy, we're going to pump you so full of awesome for one week and one week only that you won't even know what nail colour is in for fall or who's dumping Jessica Simpson.

To sweeten the deal, at the end of the week, one lucky commenter will win their very own subscription to the REAL Cosmo magazine! Any and all comments on any and all posts will be entered to win. To get additional entries, leave a comment with a question or scenario for Ben's advice vlog coming later this week or tweet about We Are Cosmo (tag it #wearecosmo).

In short, on this special edition blog you'll see articles from the NOR and WAC edition of Cosmo...it may change your life. Or give you something to do for five minutes.

Bookmark this sucker. Now.

Use this table of contents as a reference point for the week for the special NOR/WAC edition of Cosmo magazine... Dates are used instead of page numbers. Click to enlarge.

23 Responses to "NOR/WAC Cosmo: An introduction to August's edition"

  1. Ben Says:

    Super eff word yeah! This is clearly the greatest thing that I've ever seen on the internet! Ben and Andy are rockstars! They're totally my favourite bloggers and I....

    Wait...

    I'm not logged into my fake account, am I?

    Uhhh...I...er...

    Sorry.

  2. Andy Says:

    Ben, you just blew our cover. We were supposed to exalt praises after everyone else did, not before.
    Now we'll have to resort to plan B: Waterboard bloggers into liking us.
    I hope you can sleep at night.

  3. peterdewolf Says:

    As a Cosmo subscriber since '87, I am obviously thrilled by this.

  4. Amanda Says:

    Andy, I've been enjoying your blog for about 4 months now and I thank you for introducing me to another blogger that has your sense of humor. Thanks for making me laugh!

  5. Just A Girl Says:

    Super eff word yeah! might be my favorite thing that's happened today. You two are a) awesome and b) in possession of WAY too much free time. I'm kind of jealous.

    Also, my word verification is "botato", which I think might be a direct reference to by stuffy dose so that's offensive. Rude ass word verification...

  6. Doni Says:

    Had to change my panties TWICE during this post. SUPER excited.

  7. brandy Says:

    Well done men, well done. I'm loving your stog so far!

  8. Marie Says:

    Can't we just win a subscription to your version of Cosmo? The other one isn't really that interesting.

  9. Phil Says:

    Yeya! I'm so pumped about this. Because I'm hoping to read articles about pumps. And, naturally, to read the 5 gay tips, even though I obviously know what they are.

  10. Andy Says:

    Peter- Funny thing is, Cosmo had the same articles in '87 that it does now.
    Amanda- He's got a better sense of humor, let's be honest. I just haven't told him yet out of fear his head would get too big and explode.
    JustaGirl- Actually, we really don't have free time- we just squeezed this in... I was up many a late night working on graphics, which is both sad and true. On the other hand, I watched less "Real Housewives," so that's a benefit.
    Doni- I'll ask Ben to consider looking into official "We Are Cosmo" panties as a replacement. They'd be lined with maxi pads.
    Brandy- Just wait... it only gets better (That's what I tell myself, at least)
    Marie- You have to appreciate the original to evaluate the replica, right?
    Phil- I could've written "5 Straight Tips" but they would have all involved boobs and stuff. Not as fun.

  11. BeckEye Says:

    I hope you plan on having one of those bedside astrologers come Christmas time. I need to know if my next romantic rendevouz will take place on a gondola or in a hayloft.

  12. Kellie Says:

    Oh yay oh yay oh yay! My Monday just got brighter! :)

    Also, you had me rolling at "underwear qualifying as capris". Hahaha!!!

    Can't wait for what the rest of the week brings!

  13. Soda and Candy Says:

    Hahahahaha, this is genius. Love it, boys.

    My favorite bit? "BEN'S EDIT: Fine. I will be the diva who asks for too much money. Again."

  14. Ben Says:

    Peter: Everything I do...I do it for yoooooou.

    Amanda: Victory!

    JustAGirl: Don't be fooled. We do not have free time as we are too busy running away from magazine lawsuits.

    Doni: Niiiiiice. (Ew.)

    Brandy: I love it when you say 'stog'.

    Marie: I'm afraid not.

    Phil: There will be a quiz before you read the final five.

    BeckEye: You will not be disappointed.

    Kellie: I can promise you glory, madness and glorious madness.

    Soda: At least I'm honest?

  15. Ms. Salti Says:

    Love it. Can't wait for more "articles!"

  16. Alaina Says:

    awesome. amazing. astounding. I'm so super charged! :-)

  17. Heather Says:

    This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I'm so unvelievably excited. :)

    Y'all have just become the best part of my week.

  18. Maxie Says:

    can i ask questions? for the vlog? PLEASE.

    don't let me down, ben.

  19. Ben Says:

    Maxie - I would be sad if you DIDN'T submit a question. The official advice center is here: http://wearecosmo.blogspot.com/2009/08/norwac-cosmo-were-here-to-help.html

  20. Sam_I_am Says:

    oh.my.God. That cover. Oh.my.God. Loves it.

  21. ÄsK AliCë Says:

    I'm excited about this. So excited I may have to go slip my finger in someones bum. That IS the answer to everything, right?

    Right?!?!??!

  22. miss rambles Says:

    there r no words that truely encapsulate the excitement i feel RIGHT NOW...oh crap i may hve peed in my lovely new underwear:)

  23. Ben Says:

    I have no doubt the cover art will haunt me until the end of time. I know my outfit was taken from my Retro Night excursion. I am very interested in hearing Andy's excuse.

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